I really need editing help

I really need editing help or: why the hell hasn’t Dargoth released a patch this month?!

Since the start of the year, I’ve received great translation help from a few people. However, I can’t just throw these files together and call it a patch without doing some serious editing for grammar, style, and consistency. I initially didn’t think editing would take that long, but ultimately I’ve been spending almost as much time editing as I would if I had translated it all myself in the first place. That’s obviously a huge waste of time, very discouraging personally, and something I absolutely do not enjoy doing. The revolving door of help on the project isn’t eager to do it either. I could release “MGQ Paradox: Jarringly Inconsistent English Version” right now, but no.

That’s where you come in! I know there are some English, Creative Writing, etc. students/grads reading this who can help. No Japanese or technical skills required. All you have to do is edit text in text files. Preferably you’ve played the translation patch up to the current point (or you could spend the 30 minutes that takes), the original MGQ, and maybe even played through Paradox with a machine translation, text hooker, whatever to have a gist of what’s going on. If you played the original MGQ and thought “this English isn’t so great,” well now’s your chance! These translated files need to be virtually rewritten into “story quality” English, not simply copy edited. Changing a boring, lifeless, grammatically incorrect line into a boring, lifeless, grammatically correct line isn’t that helpful. Ask yourself for each line, “does this sound like something this character would say?”

Here’s what you’re up against: http://pastebin.com/kQNvVniV
It’s the Haunted Manor Basement where you meet Chrome and very similar to the scene from MGQ.

If you’re interested, take a shot at editing that file and e-mail it to me at h.dargoth@gmail.com
Writing and editing is an art so I can’t tell you how to do it, but just from looking at that file, I can guarantee you won’t get away with changing a couple words here and there…. Also, there’s a fair amount of editing work to do and more forthcoming so this is by no means limited to a single person.

If you saw a new post and thought “YES FINALLY A PATCH!” you’re probably really unhappy right now. Sorry. I should have made this post a month ago instead of deluding myself into thinking I could do it all myself (or with present help).

UPDATE: Okay, it’s become clear that I wasn’t nearly explicit enough about the level of editing I envisioned for the Haunted Manor Basement. For reference, this is a change log of edits I made to the Enrika Village indoors map: change log

Some highlights:

– ShowMessage(“\n<Ilias>Woah, so current monster lord already gets the deposed treatment… I can imagine her chagrin.”)
+ ShowMessage(“\n<Ilias>They’re acting like she abdicated? I can picture her chagrin, hehe.”)

– ShowMessage(“\n<Ilias>Black Alice… so she finally started moving! She must intend to realize her ambitions using this opportunity…”)
+ ShowMessage(“\n<Ilias>So Black Alice is finally making her move. She must intend to seize this opportunity to further her ambitions…”)

– ShowMessage(“\n<Ilias>I thought she might start moving with my surveillance on her coming loose but… she started moving really fast.”)
+ ShowMessage(“\n<Ilias>I thought she might act with me not watching her, but all things considered, she didn’t wait long to make her move.”)

Haunted Manor Basement edit ideas:

ShowMessage(“\n<Guard>We have no dead or injured but… after what was done to me, I can no longer be a bridgegroom…”)
ShowMessage(“\n<Guard>We’re all alive and unharmed, but… Um… They did things to us that no woman should do to her husband…”)

ShowMessage(“\n<Chrome>My name is Chrome, I’m a great Necromancer.”)
ShowMessage(“\n<Chrome>I’m the grand necromancer Chrome!”)

ShowMessage(“\n<Chrome>Ghosts appeared here on their own but… certainly, those zombies were all made by me.”)
ShowMessage(“\n<Alice>Profaning the dead is unimpressive… I cannot overlook these kind of actions.”)

ShowMessage(“\n<Chrome>The ghosts showed up on their own, but all of the zombies are my handiwork!”)
ShowMessage(“\n<Alice>Hmph, profaning the dead is not something to be proud of. I can’t allow this to continue.”)

UPDATE 2: I think I’m good on help now, but if you’re a good writer and are eager to help, don’t let that stop you from emailing me. Despite the previous update, I still wasn’t clear on what I’m looking for though. These translated files need to be virtually rewritten into “story quality” English, not simply copy edited. Changing a boring, lifeless, grammatically incorrect line into a boring, lifeless, grammatically correct line isn’t that helpful. Ask yourself for each line, “does this sound like something this character would say?”


  1. Ningyo no Koibito

    Hmm. I have professional editing experience and a long history with the Monster Girl Quest community. Just allow me some sleep and I’ll see if I can shoot over an e-mail.

  2. Incubusknight

    Nah no worries Dargoth.These types of things always takes time and with the sheer size of the games text this is no surprise that the editing would be nightmarish. I’d offer to help but sadly my work schedule wouldn’t leave me enough time to commit much to the translation/editing project (not an English major either). Hopefully you’ll find the help you need with this post though. Again no worries on the delay, we’re all grateful that your even taking the time to translate the game so so long as the project doesn’t die disappointment will be hard to come by. Or at least that’s how it with me.
    Again thanks for your hard work Dargoth.

  3. took a quick glance through it, noticed a few little mistakes, skipped most of it, noticed more little mistakes, I’m not an editor, or proof-reader, and I really don’t want to spoil the story when it’s finished by reading all the text files… but it doesn’t seem like that big an issue for that file at least, just typos and stuff.

    • in other words… if it’s in English, put the patch out, and fix the grammatical errors with the next patch. Nobody’s going to care THAT much about a few mistakes.

      • as an addendum to my previous post… you could do it like many many game developers, and put it out as it is, with as much translation as you’ve gotten so far, and then use your users as quality assurance, as many eyes on the same project, can report bugs, typos, and grammatical mistakes, and then say what they were, and where they found them. Then you can easily go to the file with that mistake, fix the error, and take no more time out of your day with reading everything, and being your own QA. There’s a saying, you can be too close to a problem, to actually see the problem.

      • Takata

        Users can help with finding bugs, typos and grammatical errors. However, normal users aren’t suited to helping with finer points like writing style and characterization.
        I left English class as soon as it became optional, so I don’t think I’ll be very good here. In addition to some outright errors, I feel that some things are “off” in the translation above for the Haunted Manor Basement, and I think they could be fixed by using more contractions, using shorter sentences for some characters, and using different words in some places. I’ll leave it to the person above who says they have editing experience.

  4. Faithful follower

    I’ve been curious is creating the patch its self hard when you get to that stage or is that easy compared to all the translation and editing?

  5. Anonymous

    Actually that’s a job I wouldn’t mind doing.
    Only, I like MGQ too much and wouldn’t want to spoil it by reading some unedited stuff beforehand x_x

  6. HelljmprRookie

    Hmm… I wouldn’t mind doing grammar corrections, but i’ve noticed some, like Ningyo no Koibito, are willing to help and unless he/she has something to stop him/her from going forth with the grammar-correcting work and so forth then I wouldn’t mind pitching in, I just CANNOT read the so-called “Evil Kanji” for the life of me so I can’t go there, I just can’t… XD lol If it’s roughly translated though and if people like Ningyo no Koibito doesn’t have the time to help with it currently then I wouldn’t mind looking at it and correcting it, I’m somewhat of a grammar-holic after all. heh heh 😛

    • Ningyo no Koibito

      I appreciate the backup! I tend to be very busy, but this particular script seems easy to edit, so I think that I will give it a shot after downloading it.

      • HelljmprRookie

        Alright, I can give it a shot if you’re too busy or some such but only if others say as such, wouldn’t want multiple attempts by other people clogging it up now of course… ^^;

  7. Chiron Maximus

    You did the right thing playing the “Help” card. Some one us were unsure of what was going on, but doing this will definitely help you and us out with the new patch. Now, I can’t do anything, cause I have no such skill, but what I can do is provide support in “cheering you on” and “upping your confidence” departments, so know that we’re all here for you and with this post reaching out to us to help you, the bugs will be squashed, the errors will be deleted and the patch will be closer than ever.

  8. Desert Eagle

    I need to take a look at this when I have time. Maybe I could do it. I mean, I AM interested in translation stuff.

    And I’ve also played through MGQ:P using machine translation (and what little Japanese I know) so I don’t have to worry about spoilers. But I need to actually take a look at the file and send it before any decision can be made.

  9. Arj

    Being a dyslexic mess myself, I sadly cannot offer you any real help, but I wish you, and all those who chose to aid you, all the best!

  10. Takata

    As for using swordsman instead of swordswoman: I don’t think there’s any reason to use a gender neutral term when the person in question is unambiguously female, like Granberia.

    Aside, how does Ilias come up with the 10 year figure in the alt Iliasville?

    Also, I presume it’s not an editing error, but in the harpy village, Ilias seems to care about the harpies more than expected. In the strategy meeting, she mentioned offhand that she was happy to see an entire village of monsters gone, but that attitude vanishes in the harpy village. A couple of her lines to Nero seem to demonstrate this:
    “Please tell me you did not exterminate the harpies”
    “you wouldn’t be trying to trick us into poisoning them, would you”
    …or am I interpreting Ilias wrongly?

    • Swordswoman just sounded kind of awkward to me, but yeah I think we may as well use it.

      The 10 years actually reads “approximately 10 years” in Japanese. I just changed it to a decade, which naturally includes an approximation.

      Good catch with the Ilias lines too. Neither of those is meant to imply that Ilias cares. I think my problem with those lines was that they immediately follow Alice’s versions in the file. The lines are very similar, but Alice’s show concern and distrust, whereas Ilias’s are more like surprise and doubt. Just goes to show the kind of subtle mistakes that can happen when translating (and that a good editor would notice).

      Ilias: You again… What on earth are you doing here? Wait, were you the one who exterminated the harpies!?

      Ilias: Is this really the fruit of the world tree? I doubt you’d be trying to trick us into poisoning them or anything, but…

      • Anonymous

        Swordswoman sounds weird to me. Swordmaster, maybe? I know ‘master’ is not exactly gender-neutral either, but it’s much better than -man/woman. Alice is the monster LORD after all.

      • Takata

        If you can only use one word or the other for technical reasons, then sure, go for “swordmaster” or “swordsman”. We kind of have to use “Monster Lord” even if it’s technically masculine because that’s what Rogue used for the last 3 games. The original term is “Maou”, which I think is gender neutral. “Swordswoman” (for Granberia) is also inherited from Rogue.

      • Takata

        Maybe the lines above for Ilias in the Harpy Village are better, but I might not be a good judge… It’s also worth checking Ilias’s lines for the 2(?) written notes found in the village.

        As for the 10 year figure: I don’t think it makes sense to use a number at all. The only line I could really believe concerning the time elapsed was:
        “On top of that, it has clearly been months, if not years, since the village was destroyed.”
        Here, Ilias doesn’t even attempt to put a number on the time since the attack, so it’s a bit jarring when she does so later without any new information to back it up. Torotoro’s fault? (The diary merely places the first attack a bit more than a year forward in time.)

      • Sevalle

        Swordsman for woman is so dumb. It’s like English never pictured that a woman would have a sword. Well in my language it’s a bit neutral word. I would like for you to use swordswoman, if everyone objects, why not sworduser or swordmaster?

    • Ningyo no Koibito

      For generations, ‘man’ has been used to refer to both men and women, such as with mankind. It’s both a gender-specific and gender-neutral word/prefix/suffix. In the case of Granberia, she probably doesn’t even care how feminine her title is, since she’s a warrior first, and a woman second, in her eyes.

  11. Darkk

    Yo, figured I take a crack at this. I’ve kinda been quietly stalking the blog for a bit, waiting for a reason to stop by and say hi. Lo and behold when I finally see something I may be able to do to help. I dunno how qualified I am for this, but I was apart of a couple MGQ role play forums, and I felt I was pretty decent at that. Plus I’ve played through with a text hooker, so that’s a plus. I’ll try and get my version to you by the end of the week. Now whether this post fills you with dread or not with the garbage I’m about submit is up to you.

    • Ningyo no Koibito

      Ah! Want to collaborate on this? I wouldn’t want either of our efforts to be in vain, so maybe a joint effort is in order.

    • Ningyo no Koibito

      Ah, okay. Since you seem to have it covered before I edited even the first line, perhaps I should hand it to you. However, I could look it over once you’re done to make sure it’s in top shape. You can use my attached email contact.

      • Ningyo no Koibito

        Oops. I guess including e-mail addresses isn’t handled the way I thought. It’s ningyonokoibito (at) yahoo (dot) com.

      • Darkk

        don’t you have professional editing experience? I’m only a dude who worked on an rp forum. It be major loss to lose your skillset from this project. And besides, just because I’m going fast, doesn’t mean it’ll be any good.

    • Ningyo no Koibito

      @Darkk I do, but you have the speed. This is why I suggest sending the script to me when you are finished so the quality is assured (with maintained translation accuracy and writing aesthetics). Most of your editing work likely will be acceptable, so this would be a collaboration. Let me know what you think!

      • Darkk

        Knowing my luck, it probably won’t be acceptable. But I’ll have it done by Wendsday at the latest. Got a good majority done today, and I’ll finish up either today or tomorrow, and use the next day to proofread it.

        • Ningyo no Koibito

          @Darkk All right. If you can, send it to me after proofreading. I will verify both the English flow and how it compares to the original Japanese. Good luck!

      • Darkk

        Alright, I sent it to you. I dunno how well or poorly I did. It should be from minatoarisato213 from gmail, it’s subject is Darkk’s of map351. Dear God shoot me, how did let a subject line go through looking like that. I swear it’s not indicative of the final product! …probably… I’ll just stop talking.

  12. The Noble Shade

    Two questions.
    One, any deadline? I wouldn’t be able to take a crack at it over the next few days.
    Two, do you want to retain the formatting, or can I send straight text? I’m completely in the dark with any kind of coding, but will do what I can to adapt.

  13. Anonymous

    I’ve done some translating in the past but it was 95% from English (it’s not my first language). I’d rather leave editing to native speakers.

  14. Anonymous

    You should try and recruit manyeyedhydra. That dude has brought a ton of attention to this series and is a great creative writer.

  15. sazaju

    Just adding some precision for people who want to edit.

    You will find some established vocabulary on the wiki of the translation:

    There is also specific stuff which has a fixed name (like items, and other stuff), which are in specific files in the project:

    Be sure to align properly when required, otherwise it is still mandatory to pass again after you. {^_°}

  16. Anonymous

    Since english isnt my first language i couldnt rewrite it in a good style.
    But is it possible to just proof read the edited stuff ?
    Would that be of any help ?

  17. Anonymous

    I just saw this and think it was a great idea to post!

    Going from what you wrote, I’m guessing you’re looking for someone who will be consistently available throughout the months(/years) of the translation project? I’d like to at least attempt editing the uploaded document and sending it if I’m happy with the result, but I know for a fact free time comes in sporadic bursts for me.

    • Well, considering the pace and patch schedule, “consistently available” isn’t exactly necessary. Being unavailable for two months at a time could be problematic, but I hope to find at least two editors so the other(s) can pick up the slack when one person is busy.

      • Anonymous

        Okay, cool. Do the events numbered in the document proceed chronologically from the player’s perspective? I had a quick look at everything to get a feel and I noticed the text refers to Chrome by name before she introduces herself to Luka. Unfortunately there’s a lack of context for me since I haven’t played the game up until this point.

      • The events aren’t chronological, but that file only has 2 events with actual conversations. You’re right that Chrome’s first line should have a ??? for her name, though. Torotoro goofed.

      • Anonymous

        In that case I’ll probably just follow along in-game to get an idea of what goes where. Event 22 seemed off since the shota wonder refers to Chrome by name but it’s no big deal if that happens after Chrome has introduced herself. I’ll do some editing and send out a file when I’m happy with it.

    • Ningyo no Koibito

      @AloeTheAnathama Awesome! You and I have similar experiences, then. Since you’re an editor too, I think I can leave it to you. I may still try to help out Darkk, but I don’t wish to compete or use up time unnecessarily. You’ll probably rock this.

      • Ningyo no Koibito

        Well, I am willing to help out, but I would want to be sure that any editing would be used, as to spend time wisely. (No credit is necessary at all, in case that seems like an ulterior motive.) I normally charge for editing, but I love Monmusu Quest and I want to show my support. Since others are tackling the scene in the Haunted Manor Basement, is there another I could attempt?

      • All right, here’s Iliasport: http://pastebin.com/eRWFxFWN
        And the original: http://pastebin.com/7AeJru8p

        Not too exciting. Just some NPCs and the conversation about Poseidon’s Bell and the stormy seas that will be familiar from MGQ. Iliasport is trickier since some of the events have separate parts for when you first arrive, after you get the bell, and after you cross the ocean and come back. There’s a lot of random party member banter too.

        I *do* pay out donations to contributors, but it’s not like that ends up being a significant amount of cash for the work involved.

      • Ningyo no Koibito

        @Dargoth Not a problem. I don’t expect anything in return other than actual use of the edited work. I’ll do my best to have the results to you before this weekend, most likely Tuesday or Wednesday. Thank you for the opportunity and your continued dedication to this project.

      • sazaju

        Uh? You pay? Never heard that! {^o^}

        Well, my contributions (for the few I did) are CC0 anyway. I don’t want to be annoyed with few cents to receive by paypal or I don’t know what s**t (I leaved paypal angry).

  18. Well he said multiple people can do this we can even do a team effort I’m learning Japanese for my career path in college But Ill see if I can help him out i’m actually looking for a co writer and editor to help me with a project i’m working on if your interested ningyo

  19. Well I’ll get started on it after I’m out of my college today I’m not sure whats the best time to post it but i do have a personal favor I want to ask you dargoth you can feel free to decline

  20. PoorScribe

    I was just wondering if there was anyone I could bounce my translation off of, specifically someone who knows the story well. I am quite familiar with the MGQ series, but in a twist of irony, my intention to await this next patch before taking a real crack at Paradox has left me woefully unfamiliar with specific details. I am an English major, with experience in copy editing and provided I can get someone familiar with the specifics of the scenario posted by Dargoth (Haunted manor basement), I feel I might be of some genuine help in editing the translation. Anyone knowledgeable on paradox would be of great help! Thank you!

    • PoorScribe

      And just a follow-up question specifically for Dargoth: you’re looking for text that people would want to read, more style, text better than the first. On that note, how much creative license could one take with the words of the sentence? Nothing drastic or out of character of course, but more along the lines of making their dialogue more believable and more human (or monstrous, angelic, mechanical, etc, as the case may be). Just wondering.

      • personal preference… don’t alter the writing of torotoro, just make it good English. If someone wants to make their own monster girl game, that’d be the time for creative writing, not during a translation. The creative part comes from knowing that direct translations from one language to another don’t make a lot of sense, and you take the direct translation, and make it make sense to English speaking people.

      • PoorScribe

        Sorry, I should clarify I didn’t so much mean something stylistically different from torotoro as much as I meant changing words that might seem clumsy in English. Small things like “I can no longer be a bridegroom” to “I can no longer get married” or changing “confined persons” to “prisoners”. I’m just trying to establish whether it should be just cleaning up grammar, spelling, and obvious bad English or if I should be looking to improve sentence flow, and perform other slightly-stronger editing as well. I agree with you though, I wouldn’t want to change torotoro’s style or meaning, I actually quite enjoy it.

    • Yeah, I should have been more explicit. In my opinion, the majority of the lines in that file need to be completely rewritten. Japanese writing styles and English writing styles are very different so trying to match the Japanese style in a translation results in awkward, unnatural English sentences that aren’t going to be fixed with just a couple word substitutions.

      I’ll update the main post with some examples because everyone seems reluctant to change anything but the most egregious sentences.

      • PoorScribe

        Awesome, that’s kind of what I was hoping to hear actually. It’s not that I want to take great liberties with the text, I just feel it can be re-written to be more aesthetically pleasing, while still staying true to the text’s meaning. I sent you a very cautious and tentative version of my edit on Chrome’s mansion, so I’ll redo it with considerable changes to style and flow and send the 2nd version your way.
        Sorry for the additional spam, your inbox must be a mess right now.

  21. chronostein

    I would like to help but english is not my mother tongue, so I cross my fingers and hope everything will be fine.

  22. strate7

    I sent my edited version of the Haunted Mansion. Hopefully I’ll be able to help with the translation and maybe take a load off your shoulders.

  23. ClanCrusher

    I gave a shot at editing the file you posted. I’m only letting you know here just in case the e-mail didn’t get through for some reason. It sounds like you’ve got plenty of help already, but I’d be happy to contribute more if you think my work is up to your standards.

  24. darknessblade

    you can just add the non-gammer-nazi files to the patch, then the grammer nazi’s can edit/look at all the text to get it correct.

    i myself do not mind having semi-bad grammer, as long as its a translation.

  25. strate7

    Hmm. I see. Well, if you want more drastic changes, I’ll see what I can do. I’ll try to remove the more unusual words and make the sentences have more “feeling” to them.

    I suppose it would be better if, for example, “subjugative corps” was changed to “suppression team”?

    • Suppression team is definitely better, but it’s probably easier to rewrite the line entirely to something like “Whoa, are you the soldiers who were sent to clean this place out?”

      • sazaju

        Sorry for the long post (bad habits of mine), but maybe it might help organize the work through a consequent team of people.

        If I rely on my own experience (I am in a fansub team for Jap animation, esp. comedies, give it the value you want), the usual problem of editing is the consistency of the discourse: there is various ways you can reformulate, and because Japanese is completely different to Western languages, the flexibility is just huge. You have to change it anyway to make it “average” English (or French or whatever), so you might as well take a specific perspective on you own, which makes it appear nice to you, rather than stick to the Japanese. As long as you get the rough meaning, just put yourself in the shoes of the characters you try to translate, and just go imagine what you would say with the rough idea in mind. And this is where the problem stands: as soon as you allow yourself to make it “at least average English”, different people might provide different versions already.

        Consequently, if different people work on it, you take the risk to obtain “inconsistent styles”, and it introduces some feelings of misalignment when the player reads it. This is purely qualitative, nothing blocking, but like machine translation, this is one of these things which makes the difference between the fair and the awesome translation.

        This is why, in my fansub team, we always try to dedicate the editing (we call it adaptation actually, editing is something else for us) to a single person to maximize this consistency. The point is that we translate series where there is a small set of characters. But with MGQ there is a big bunch of characters, which makes it insanely time consuming and hard for few people to maintain a huge panel of personalities. But I think that it is also what makes it particularly opportunistic for groups of editors: each character can have its own style. Thus, I think it would be worth that, if several people want to join the team, to assign them specific characters (personal preferences or based on specific needs, whatever), so they go through it with their own styles and keep it consistent through the whole set of maps. Constant people go through the main characters, while side editors go through side MonMusu. This way, you can exploit an efficient distribution of the work without facing this inconsistency issue, and it gives a way to distribute the work between people, yet ensuring somehow that everyone give a look more or less everywhere, so they can all keep an eye on the whole story, which makes it easier to comment on the early translation/edition of someone else and fix mistakes.

        This is one of the reasons I want to finish Vanilla’s dialogues before to go back to Vampire Girl and only then to do something else. To be sure I keep it homogeneous. And considering that I have almost finished Vanilla (only the skill words remain), if I generalize then here is what I have observed: by focusing on a single MonMusu, you have plenty of small scenes involving few characters but your own (this sharing is what ensures that several people, assigned to different characters, can check out the works of others). As long as you let the presents and skill words aside, there is a long list of small, rather independent scenes. So it is really easy to organize the work: just make a scene, and if you still fill motivated for another round, go ahead, until you think its enough. It is not like the story, which might go like very long before to have a somehow break in the dialogues because you change the area, or until you cries “stop”.

        Of course the point is not to force oneself to stick to his/her character until it is 100% done before to start another one, but I think that it would be a good thing to focus on specific characters when it seems doable. At least, if there is already few people trying to advance the story linearly, I think it would help to have people working on it in a complementary way like that. Especially people who do not feel like they could provide a continuous flow (I’m one of them).

        Sure it was big. Hope it was not crap. {‘^_^}

        • PoorScribe

          This a is a really good point actually, and something I’m concerned about. Consistency across the entirety of a character’s dialogue would be difficult to maintain if handled by multiple people, and its something that you do notice in the end, you can tell when a certain translator (or editor in this case) did a certain part because of the small differences between styles, e.g: one uses the word “yoma”, the other changes it to monster, just the little things that nag at you. What Sazaju recommended makes a lot of sense, the only problem I can think of might be the added work of compiling all the lines into their respective scenes once translated, but honestly I know very little about the mechanical side of things so maybe there’s an easy way to handle that work. Anyways just thought I’d long-windedly agree with you because consistency between editors was exactly what I was thinking about when you posted.

      • strate7

        There we go. I sent an updated version based on your suggestions. Hopefully it’s closer to what you were looking for.

      • I’ll consider this project a huge success if character dialogue consistency is the worst complaint anyone has. I mean, Rogue and I split Desire Dungeon in half and not a single person ever even mentioned any style inconsistency.

        Having someone take ownership of a specific character is something to consider for a final polishing step, but it’s nothing but a headache in the translation stage.

      • sazaju

        For sure, style consistency is more the cherry than the cake. But everyone already speak about the cake, so I prefer to concentrate on the cherry. {^_°}

        And well, I do like to translate Vanilla’s dialogues (otherwise I would have done something else). If some other people are fine with this kind of work, they might try to do it as well. This is more what I was thinking about: I see the organization of one’s own work more as a way to maintain the motivation.

      • verves2

        sazaju makes a really good point. Probably the only reason you and Rouge could pull it off because both of you have very good command of written English and had the focus and persistence to pull it off. With your editor-of-the-day volunteers, your expectations what any one person is capable of should be lowered.

  26. Hmm it’s been a while since I last visited this blog, and it is more alive and kicking than it used to be (sweet). As far as grammar is concerned, I am pretty sure that there are plenty of people here willing to assist in the best way possible. Remember people, it’s not a competition of who has the most advanced linguistic capabilities, but it is about helping Dargoth buying him some time so that he can focus on other areas that might need more of his attention right now.

    I have also noticed that many people are not paying much attention to the grammar itself and are already satisfied with versions that are based off machine translations. However, the goal here is to create a much more polished translation patch. It is not only a matter of just delivering another generic patch but a personal journey to draw some satisfaction from the process and translation work that you are involved with. I am pretty sure that in the end people value the quality more 🙂

  27. Alex

    Hello Dargoth, first of all i want to thank you for your great work and for all you have done so far. Second, i was worried about the new patch release and if help is what you need i am ready to give all i got for MGQ. So if you can give me your email and tell me how to help you with the edit and other stuff i promise to put all my experience in this project to make the next patch better. I come from italy and at my school we translate latin and ancient greek, so editing english text i can assure you is quite easy, even if don’t speak japanese ( but i can read it ). Hope to get an answer soon. Bye

  28. I’d toss my name in to edit, but I don’t even have time for my own game. If the summer comes around and you still need help, I’ll jump in, but by then I expect you’d be set. Then again, that “revolving door” of help probably doesn’t make things better…

    • Darkk

      It’ll probably roll into summer. From the progress spread sheet, there are 707 maps of varying line totals. Using very rough estimates like each map taking 2 days and editors working every day of the year, it would take one person 4 years to edit every map, one year for 4 editors, and 3 months for 16 editors. I dunno how accurate my rough estimate is, but I assume we’ll be hammering away at this for a while. Also, maps is just the story. There’d still be all the scenes and battle info.

      • sazaju

        To that you add the common events, which is… well… BIG. Then, from all that, you add the scripts, which have (rough estimates too) more or less as much lines than maps and common events together. {‘^_^}

  29. Anonymous

    Um, For the Swordswoman term, why not use Sword Maiden. Its similar to Shield maiden, or perhaps blade dancer may also be a possible equivalent. Just a suggestion.

  30. darklordxIII

    though i’m not experienced i could try to help might even learn how to proceed with a game I’ve been trying to make by doing this.

  31. Anonymous

    I just finished Part1 with quit a few monster girls left to recruit and I realized some of them do not even show up on my library, I might have completely missed them. IK this is not the place to ask for it but I can’t find a monster list anywhere online so could someone with all girls recruited upload their compressed save folder and post the link as a reply? That would save me a lot of trouble! Thanks in advance.

  32. I just sent mine in i think you should make the suggestions a bit more clear Also I’m not sure if its the coding or no but the capitalization seems a bit consistent . I wish Understood Japanese better it would be a
    lot better to quickly translate if i knew what they were trying to say

    • Man I was so Tired when I typed that above looks pretty rough on my part. But I think strength in numbers would be the best way to do it if dargoth would entertain that idea.

  33. Darkk

    Btw, I have an idea on how we could access more manpower and retain our quality. Maybe we could have less experienced editors paired or grouped with a better editor, like an intern. They each work on their own maps, but the lesser experienced editor sends his copy to the better editor for review. This let’s you access more manpower and it allows the less experienced editors a chance to practice. I dunno how this will work, but I think allowing people to practice their editing will be a net positive. Paradox might come out slower at first, but during later parts, it will go faster since you now have an army of skilled editors. Plus if you ever need to call editors for another project, you’ll hava already trained a few. Just an idea.

    • Ningyo no Koibito

      That’s actually a really good idea. Also, I’m sorry that I haven’t done anything regarding your edit yet. I’ve been tremendously swamped over here with regular work and will just barely finish the Iliasport dialogue tonight.

      • Darkk

        No worries, it actually helps highlight a problem with the system I proposed. If the experienced editor doesn’t have the time to review and translate his own stuff, then the whole system gets bogged down.

  34. Chiron Maximus

    Just wanted to say this in case nobody else noticed it, but the thing that lets you change the name of your characters is gone, and any changes are reverted back to most likely the vanilla names, I can’t tell since their in Japanese, but if the name change function is gone, then I assume the names were reverted back.

  35. Nick

    Man im impressed with how many people are helping out i wish i could do something but i have no game editing skills what so ever =(

    • Anonymous

      TTR recently made a post saying that he planned on putting out games in between Paradox to emphasize the fact that it’s a large project. No news on anything like a release date or anything, at the earliest it’d be after August, but there have been some pictures shown of previously unknown six ancestors.

      • khalayia

        remember also that these games are considerably larger than something like a vn game so it shouldn’t be a surprise that there’s a bigger gap between releases.

      • Anonymous

        Just speaking for myself, but as long as part 1 isn’t completely tarnslated, I don’t care about part 2 at all.

  36. Mhm, fair enough I guess. Just that the fact that I already finished it for the 15th time with no as far as an estimation of the 2nd part just made me a lil annoyed. Well enuff for the ranting and goes back to wait patiently~

    • khalayia

      you can always go and try the infinite dungeon as a challenge to pass the time. on that note you should have a full team of archangel bra’s with 15 clears

  37. Ceres

    Any chance of getting a short video demonstrating the part of the game that contains these lines? Hard to know how they should be said without proper context/facial animations. I suspect the need to wade through moon runes/broken English to get to this point will turn off a lot of potential editors and just waste your time in general with tons of unsatisfactory results.

    • Perhaps that would have been helpful, but I chose that file especially since it involved a scene and characters that should be familiar from MGQ.

      • SakuraHeinz

        Can you please translate the classes fully and items so I can at least play the labyrinth? would be more interesting, than generic pervert talking and generic anime talking at least for me =D

      • Items are almost done I think. I keep asking the random “hi I’ll help translate” people to do the classes, which always results in me thinking they’ve been done but of course the person flaked out and never did any work.

  38. Isaiah Jimenez

    Well I can help somewhat. If you send me like test files, I can show you what I can do. Then you can judge for yourself whether or not I’m capable. Then we go on from there.

  39. J

    If I am understanding the need correctly I am happy to help. Spelling and syntax while trying to keep a decent weave on the story provided so far. I know jack shit about coding so am I correct in thinking we will only be dealing with the text portion. ShowMessage(“\nI’m the grand necromancer Chrome!”)

    -Looking at that it looks like the important is to not space after >, and to end in “)
    So >I’m Chrome the Grand Necromancer!”)

    Something that like and submit the original with the revised version back to you. Do you want the changes highlighted in any particular way or does that create work for you removing the highlights? Specific font,font size,etc. Grammar purity hating the typical jrpg confusion shock ie !?,!!!,???!?! or Barrett swears ie God D@$#i+ spikey haired mofo.

    I assume you don’t want dozens of people working on the same file so do we contact you and ask for a small slice,submit it, and if orderly ask for more?

    Happy to help get the ball rolling here with the grub work so you can translate just wanted to understand it more clearly so as to not waste both our time.

    • Cha0x

      From my understanding he’s looking for less of simple grammatical fix ups and more of actual character dialogue.

      If the rough translation is bland and boring he wants it rewritten to sound like the character. For example.

      Rough: Luka – “The guards have been attacked and are hurt. Rescue should be on the way.”
      Clean: Luka – “These guards have been through so much… We need to send for help right away, but we can’t just leave Chrome alone.”

      He’s looking for people who understand the characters. How Luka’s supposed to have some naive lawful good in him. The classic struggle to do everything hero. Or how Alice is meant to be a snarky dismissive brat who can quickly change to a serious tone when the situation arises to show her nobility and authority. Illias I imagine being a condescending bitch who has to put her pride aside in order to deal with her current weakness and deal with the problem at hand. She’ll often take a hard approach that she’s the absolute authority until she sees that people are actually pushing back against her with their own opinions. I imagine her going through some serious self reflection at times throughout the story while still trying to maintain that angelic pride.

      Anyway, that’s how I see him wanting things to go. If I was working on the project, that’s what I would want.

      • Throthgar

        Hey Cha0x, Throthgar’s here. I think you are correct, we need a guy who can “role play” while translating, not just blank google alike translation. That is why Throthgar, the true Dragonborn Hero is here to get shit done.

  40. Anonymous

    Editing would be an absolutely horrible idea for myself. Only because I tend to expose way too much, and have entirely broken english myself ; -;. Good luck to all involved! (including Dargoth of course)

    • Cha0x

      I’m sure he’s probably busy with other things in addition to reading through tons of emails. Don’t take it personally.

  41. Anonymous

    Glad to see the project is progressing nicely and that solutions are found when problems arise. It must be rough at times, but certainly a learning experience.

    Anyway, I just wanted to say : great job, Dargoth and team, keep it up!

  42. Chiron Maximus

    I’m glad to see things are going well. I’m looking forward to seeing what develops in the future.

    • Chiron Maximus

      Also, I can provide an outlet for sentence structures. Just post a reply with the sentence in question and I’ll provide my advice.

  43. Henry

    One thing that would really help is having a couple pastebins of other scenes or even just more of the same scene. It’s difficult for somebody to write something of substance given such limited scope. Sure you can argue that you want people who understand the characters in a better way but these characters have changed in a pretty significant way since the original MGQ. Not to mention the introduction of new characters.

    I’d certainly love to take a stab at things but it doesn’t seem like much will come of it given the extremely small sample to work with. Not to mention I found Chrome’s story element to be among the most boring in the original game. She herself was a fun character, but the surrounding dialogue was bland and uninteresting. The lines put forward in the pastebin just show that even more.

    let me explain…

    Uggh, we am was attacked by generic monsters. I can’t look at my wife and kids the same ever again! Woe is me!

    Don’t worry generic gentlemen… help is on the way….

    Whoah! Hi there! Were you making all that fuss around my lab? I’m Chrome, the great and powerful Necromancer of this mansion! Those ghosts out there popped up out of the graveyard that this place was built around. Don’t worry though, those Zombies were all my doing! Aren’t they a testament to my magnificent craftsmanship?! I had so many parts to work with I just got a little carried away.

    Oh no. Chrome am defiling hooman body. Dat bad.
    As the current monster lord of which I’ll be reminding you many times throughout our short conversation, I have no choice but to look down on these vile acts… Eeek, a ghostie.
    Wooshie wooshie, I am the goddess Illias, generic stuff about purging by fire. Burn it… BURN IT ALL!

    I also gotta say the example clean ups you gave really weren’t anything more than the very things you berate others for doing. It’s more or less just a cheap replacement of the rough translations.

    For example:
    – ShowMessage(“\nBlack Alice… so she finally started moving! She must intend to realize her ambitions using this opportunity…”)
    + ShowMessage(“\nSo Black Alice is finally making her move. She must intend to seize this opportunity to further her ambitions…”)

    That makes Illias sound so generic. You could say something like…
    + ShowMessage(“\nBlack Alice? That vile old relic can’t be moving yet. I wonder if she sees some sort of opportunity here… Her trickery truly sees no limits.”)

    Mine’s nothing great but like I’ve pointed out there was no context to go off of. What’s happening around Illias while this dialogue is happening? How much of her memory has returned? What are her powers expected to be like at this point? Has she gained back some of the confidence she lost when falling under the seal? There’s a lot more information that might be second nature to you as you’ve been working on these subs like a devout Illias zealot, but to us plebs who are simply trying to piece together the story we’re taking shots in the dark.

    Also, I really hope that’s not all the lines to the Chrome story section. I think that would really undermine her as a character and the relationship that her and Frederika have. Not to mention the Artiste plot line that her and her sister have. Fine, it might be discussed later, but it felt like it was introduced in such a shallow way with only some side comments coming from Alice.

    Anyway, rant over, I really got carried way writing all of this. I really should stop scouring the corners of the net at the early hours of the morning. Hope you put out some more rough translations soon, I’ll keep an eye out. Of course I’ll be waiting for the next patch too. It’d be really fun to clean up some of the character dialogue but it really is difficult to work with the material we’ve been given.


    • Thanks for taking the time to think about all that and post.

      In terms of context and scope, I was generally hoping that people have played the game already, at least up until the parts that need to be edited. The mansion is clearly past that, but it’s also a familiar scene. It was also just a “test” file that I wasn’t expecting perfection on. At any rate, all the files, including logs of all changes, are on our public repository at https://bitbucket.org/dargothtranslations/paradox/src

      Ultimately this IS a translation project, not a re-imagining of the game. That’s why I called it editing to begin with, but everyone took that to mean fixing typos and clearly incorrect grammar, nothing more. Many of the lines ARE bland, and it’s not necessary or even desirable to scrap them entirely and create your own conversations between the characters. There’s a balance to be struck between the two, and I don’t exactly want to be the authority on that balance… I’m also looking for people that can do a better job than me so I can simply translate. 🙂

      • Throthgar

        Dargoth, lad, check you email. Ive send ya letter with my work in editing the text you gave as an example.

      • Cha0x

        Fair point. At first I interpreted your message as fixing typos and grammar just like a lot of people. I hope you don’t think my point was that every single line should be packed full of amazing character development or anything. That’s why I picked out a couple of the lines that I thought could use more character to reach that balance. The first question is always what impact does this line have on the character and those around them? The second is how have they changed because of it? If the answers to those don’t provide much development then it’s perfectly fine for them to be just general dialogue that moves the story along.

        I guess I really shouldn’t be writing gibberish at 4 in the morning… T_T. I just wanted to clear that up.

        I hope I haven’t missed a patch because I’m just plowing through the game with nothing but Japanese text that I don’t understand anymore. Haha.

        Anyway, thank you again for going through all this work to translate the game. I, and I’m sure many others, really appreciate it. It’s really a fun game and without you I wouldn’t have played it. :D. I’m glad you’ve gotten a certain degree of help for this massive project.

  44. Darkk

    Pardon my confusion, does this mean you already have your editors picked, or is the chrome editing test still ongoing?

    • Cha0x

      It’s ongoing but he does already have a certain level of help coming in. There’s no cutoff for offering your help as far as I understand it.

  45. nrogara

    He is still alive! That is always great news.
    I am sure there will be some good people for the editing position in the community here

    • Chiron Maximus

      Yeah, thanks to that comment, it can be safe to say that several weeks to a few months have now been added to the date. We don’t speak of patch release times, lest we jinx it and it has to be even later than later.

      • Arj

        Any estimate on patch? x1000^75000
        There, I just asked it so many times that we have now gone a loop in time ( if time is circular, that is ), and by my count the patch should be out on November 12th, 1895….. Damn it, I diden’t go far enough!

  46. Throthgar

    Dargoth, Im waiting for your reply about the text reorganization. Do not underestimate the POWER of Throthgar, and his eyebrows of Anger

    • Anonymous

      With all due respect, if the grammar in the edits you sent out is as bad as what’s seen in your post, I think I know why he didn’t reply. The same thing goes for the other guy that keeps on asking him if he checked his e-mail.

      I understand that a post is meant to be quick and your edits might be great, but poorly-written posts related to something that has to do with your skill in writing gives off a really bad impression.

  47. Throthgar

    Actualy I did pritty nice. Never again doubt the power of Throthgar.
    p.s. Dargoth, at least you can reply to others with “yes” or “no”. Otherwise, a powerful confusion might overshadow even the most powerful minds

    Sincerely yours,
    Throthgar, son of Bothgar, descendant of Edgar, brother in law of Inar, second cousin of Falknar, slayer of Gulgar,the Legendary Dragonborn Hero

  48. Anonymous

    Anyone know of any english news website that list new and upcoming game titels of this kind and/or other adult themed art?, preferably with info aswel of the game.. like IGN for normal games would be cool lol..

    if not, would someone be willing to make one?

  49. Darkk

    Btw, for those wondering about what stolen materials are in the bestiary (dunno if this has been answered), it’s part of the ability of the Salon BFer. She can sometimes steal materials when she normal attacks.

  50. Cyber Surfer

    Forgive me for being “that guy”. But…….When is the next patch coming out? And will more of the follower dialogue/combat text be translated?

  51. Anonymous

    I think that the line about “I can no longer be a bridegroom…” is a parody on the stereotypical line “I can no longer be a bride” uttered by girls who feel like they’ve been debased, or exposed. Does the line you proposed as an alternative keep the joke intact?

    • Sulphur99

      It is. The problem wasn’t because the word was “bridegroom”, it was because someone put “bridgegroom”, so Dargoth used it as an example of what not to use.

    • That’s what krytyk was going for in the translation. The actual Japanese line was only a partial sentence that left the rest up to your imagination, and I interpreted it a bit differently than he did.

  52. matoko

    hmm from some of the comment i read, does this translation got delayed many times because some grammar nazis bitching over small mistake in grammar?

    • Anonymous

      No, it’s delayed because raw translation without editing reads like ass. We already have a machine translation if you can’t wait any longer.

  53. Anonymous

    This is without a doubt the worst time to ask this and being a long time lurker of your translations….

    Where (besides google) can I find the translationS of the first three MGQ games ;3;

  54. CMrC

    Don’t know if anyone already reported this weird interaction:
    I accidentally surrendered, but my Luka is so buffed that he still won using counters (surrender for tactical win :P), after that the game continued normally, but i couldn’t see my party following me until i tried changing formation

  55. Anonymous

    I have purchased expensive lube and learned exactly how long to put it in the microwave to achieve 98.4F!!!!! I AM READY FOR THE WEEKEND

  56. Jam

    Hi Dargoth, I was wondering, are you also translating the pocket castle request scenes and dialogue along with the story? Or is it of a lesser priority and will be translated after the story is taken care of?

  57. sazaju

    By completely, I mean the castle requests. All I have remaining are the skill words for Vanilla, then I plan to go ahead with Vampire Girl stuff as a whole (some is already done, though).

  58. Anonymous

    Created a simple poll out of boredom to see which monster girl’s h-scenes people want to be translated the most. If you are bored just like me please take a minute of your time and vote honestly.
    The poll will start in 15 min and will last 72h: http://goo.gl/qi3usU

  59. Anonymous

    my primitive calculations, based on the percentage of completion and the time it took to achieve it, suggest that the translation is going to be complete on 09 21 2019

      • Anonymous

        I’m consistently shocked by how fast and well Redamz works. 3d models in just a few days. Then you look at stuff like Trials in Tainted Space that has a team of 3 chugging out maybe 1 text based scene every week if lucky. I know which Pat i’m sticking to.

      • CivilDeviation

        Was Redamz really that fast? I’m happy backing teams that look like they will finish products but a bit scared of another “Hero” MGQ.

      • I like the way Patreon works. You pledge a small amount of money and then re-evaluate every month. Don’t like a creator’s progress lately? Cancel your pledge. It’s not like a kickstarter where you front all the money and cross your fingers for results at a nebulous time in the future.

      • CivilDeviation

        That is good to know! Thank you both. Also Dargoth a second thanks for all your hard work on paradox as well as previous projects. It makes a world of difference for how I enjoy the games.

  60. Tsarius

    Is there any way I could get my hands on the jarringly inconsistent english version of the game? I recently got and played up to the latest patch, and I’d like to continue playing but having no idea what’s going on is kinda…eh. I’d love if someone could either point me in the right direction or give me a way to get it.

  61. ViolatedHero

    You’re obviously striving for perfection when many (dare I say most) of us just want something vaguely understandable to jack off too. Broken English is absolutely fine so long as the gist of it makes sense. Eg I recently played another game that had two translations, one said something like “I held her breasts in my hands and fondled her nipples” while the other just said “boobs!! but both were equally understandable IMO.

    • I fundamentaly disagree on that part: “Broken English is absolutely fine so long as the gist of it makes sense.”

      If he is a perfectionnist, then it makes sense to strive for perfection. Because HE is the one doing it. I am a perfectionnist, and I would feel completely frustrated and just abandon projects if I had to do just minimalistic stuff to make it “in time” for the others. People who want to get it quick just use Google translate.

      • ViolatedHero

        In this context, Google is maggot infested rotten apples. I’m not asking for shit translations, I’m asking for the middle ground between shit translations right now and perfect translations never. We can call it, “adequate translations”, neither shit nor perfect but pretty good and delivered in a timely manner.

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